Beyond Reach
by myasiansuperpowers
Summary: When Liberty's desperate desire to be perfect takes over her, who will be there to save her?  Jiberty, obviously.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, okay so my last fanfiction about Darcy was really weird. Almost all of my reviewers said it was disturbing! They liked it, but it was disturbing. This may also be disturbing...disturbance rocks(...)! It's about Liberty and her eating disrorder. I think that if anyone was going to get an eating disorder, it would have been Liberty, cause she's a total perfectionist. Inspiration for this fanfiction is from my own diary, so the general details about bulimia/anorexia are pretty accurate. The title is something that Liberty feels throughout her disorder. She's close to reaching "perfection", but she'll never reach it. No matter how many pounds she loses, she'll never be thin enough. A note, this story uses the American system of measuring, when needed. I know Canada uses metric (as in kilograms instead of pounds), but I'm not Canadian and I don't feel like converting everything...sorry :(.**

_October 15, 2006_

_Breakfast:_

_Nothing_

_Lunch:_

_1 bag of pretzels (140 calories)_

_Dinner:_

_Chinese take-out (Not to worry, it's in the toilet now)_

_Dessert:_

_peanut butter cup (90 calories)_

_Other:_

_brownie (200 calories...it makes me ill to even be writing this)_

_Total: 330 calories (20 less than yesterday!)_

_My jeans are a little bit looser today. But a size three is just atrocious, regardless of how tight or loose they are._ (a/n: No offense to anyone who is a size three, you guys aren't fat, I just need to demonstrate how anorexia distorts your perception of what is "thin") _I jogged for an hour today, I was aiming for two, but I felt like I was going to collapse. How many calories is that? At least 500, which means I'm in negative today. That puts me one step closer to being thin._

I close my food diary and get ready to go to bed. I'm known at Degrassi as the overacheiving perfectionist. I used to take great pride in this, what was wrong with being perfect anyways? That was what I thought, before she realized that I wasn't near perfect.

Perfect people aren't fat. And I, Liberty Van Zandt am. I need to be thin, just as much as I needed to be perfect. So I did what everyone else did when they wanted to be thin: I went on a diet. I started out on a low-carb diet, but the results weren't as fast as I had hoped. I needed instant results, and the best way to do that was not eat. So I didn't.

But Mom had started getting suspicious. Was it possible that I was never hungry at dinner, that I always ate a "big lunch"? I knew Mom would suspect the worst, and say I am "anorexic". (I am not anorexic or bulimic. I'm just on a diet, and I will end this diet as soon as I become thinner.) Anyways,back to my story, I had to show Mom that I didn't have an eating disorder. So I ate as much as normally did, but I normally ate like a pig. So I just went upstairs and got rid of the food. It made me feel happy, superior almost. I could eat as much as I wanted without gaining a pound, meanwhile my peers had to control what they ate, otherwise they's get fat. When I threw up I felt like I was in control, not my father who controlled my parents, who controlled my future, Not J.T., who controlled my feelings, me.

But that was two months ago, before I started throwing up blood. Before I started to faint, due to "stress". Before I'd wake up bloodshot eyes because of the desperate purging I had done the night before. I look like a drug addict. And I am addicted. To food, to purging, to being thin. I know what I do is wrong, but I can't stop. I need to be thinner. No matter how much I feel I'm in control when I throw up, it's not me who's in control...it's anorexia.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(a/n: I was thinking of making this a one-shot, but I'll make intoa Jiberty fic, yay!)

"Tobes, have you talked to Liberty lately?" J.T. asked in a concerned voice one day at lunch.

"Well, in Student Council, but I get the feeling you're thinking about something else. What do you want to know?" Toby said in an all-knowing voice.

"She just seems, different. She never eats, and if she does it's like, an apple, she always looks tired. She's lost a lot of weight, too. And she lost that...glow she used to have," J.T. explained.

"Glow?" Toby questioned before grin spread across his face.

"You know what I mean! She's just not the same anymore."

"Okay, well, what do you think is wrong with her?"

"I don't know, I barely talk to her now. That's why I asked you, you guys are friends right?" J.T. reasoned.

"Yeah, but, it's mostly on a school basis,"

"Oh..." J.T. uttered.

"Yeah, well, I have a Student Council meeting in a few minutes, so I'll see you later," Toby rushed off, rolling his eyes. Why couldn't J.T. just break up with Mia and admit his feelings for Liberty?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Liberty Van Zandt was in a rush to get home, such a rush, she forgot one of her most private possesions in the crowded Degrassi hallways.

"Liberty, you forgot something!" J.T. called. But Liberty was already halfway down the noisy hall, unable to hear J.T..

J.T. felt the inclination to look through the marble notebook. After all, it was probably just a notebook for school. He opened the book and began to look through it. It seemed to be a food diary. But unlike mst food diaries, this one was almost blank. When he read the notes Liberty had written in the margins, he realized that whatever Liberty did eat she "got rid of". It scared him, that Liberty had been doing this on and off for two months. If anything happened to her...he didn't want to imagine that. He knew he needed to help her before it got to that point. But how would he approach Liberty about this?

**Dun, dun, dun! So, yeah, review! Public Service Announcement: Eating disorders are bad...so stay away...**

**Mina**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, I don't have much to say today...impossible right? Oh yeah! You should check my profile, I put up a new survey. Surveys are fun. Yeah, well, so much for having nothing to say. Anyways, it has occurred to me that I can be very cruel. Oh well! Yay I got contacts and no longer look like an emo kid. Chyeah!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi and whatever name brand I will probably list in this story, cause I'm so brand obsessed and shallow. **

J.T. drove to Liberty's house nervously, the diary rested in the passenger seat. He looked out the window and his eyes met with the familiar streets that lead to her house. She lived in a richer neighborhood, where J.T. had spent so much of his summer ony two years ago. How much had happened in those two years was unbelievable. J.T. and Liberty had gone from a couple to parents...and now strangers. A part of him was still upset over the break-up he had experienced last year, but that part of him was always ignored. J.T. was with Mia now, Liberty was in his past.

He pulled up to the home of Liberty Van Zandt. It was a beautiful structure, lined with coffee colored bricks that were perfectly accented with dark blue-green shutters. The yard was perfectly manicured, with lush green grass and rose bushes that lined the stoned-paved pathway J.T. now walked along. He had second-thoughts, but he knew that Liberty needed help, and he'd do anything to save her.

Taking a deep breath, J.T. knocked on the door.

"Can I help you?" Liberty asked as if he might as well have been selling Girl Scout cookies.

"Yeah, um, you dropped this in the hall today. I just thought I'd return it," J.T. explained holding out the marble composition.

Liberty waited for a moment, when she realized he probably didn't read it, she accepted and thanked it. Just when she was about to close the door, J.T. said, "I read it."

Liberty was speechless, so J.T. continued, "Liberty, I know we don't talk anymore but I think you need to get help. When Emma...we were so scared."

"Come inside." Liberty finally spoke, without any emotion. He obeyed her and the silently headed to her room. When they entered a barrage of memories invaded J.T.'s mind, none of which were even close to rated G. Quickly pushing those thoughts away, J.T.addressed the reason he was here, "Liberty, have you been eating at all?"

------------------Liberty POV----------------------------

My first reaction is to lie to J.T.. But he probably read through the whole diary anyways. "No," I flatly reply.

"Liberty! That's so dangerous...you could..." his voice breaks off, like he doesn't want to say the word 'die'. That really pisses me off, since when does he care if I'm alive. I know that starving myself could kill me, and I do desprately want to stop. But how am I supposed to make myself so vulnerable in front of J.T.?

"I could have died when I was pregnant, but you were so ready to break up with me then. So don't even try to pull off the 'caring friend' act on me," that should shut him up.

"Liberty that isn't fair! We couldn't have made you un-pregnant. But you can get help for this," he says. I hate it when he makes sense.

"J.T., I don't need help with this, I can take care of it on my own," I plead with him.

"Emma goes to these group meetings at the community center for people with eating disorders. She said it helped her a lot,"

"J.T., you honestly think my parents will be okay with me being anorexic? If they find out about it they probably aren't going to publicize it by letting me go to group therapy," I say. J.T. seems surprised that I actually ackknowledged my anorexia.

"You said the same thing when we had to deliver the pregnancy news. They actually said they would help you, they wanted you to dump me first, but they did want to help," he says.

"They did help with driving me to appointments and stuff like that, but they stopped being proud of me like they were before, you know? It's like no matter how hard I try I can't make up for what happened before. It's like they're playing host to an alien," I can't believe I'm telling this to J.T., but know that he knows everything, it doesn't exactly matter.

He touches my arm and I feel that same spark that went away so long ago. _He has a girlfriend, it means nothing_, I tell myself. But I hear Manny's voice in my head, "You know Liberty, I don't think J.T. ever got over you..." J.T. looks at me with true sincerity, "Fine we won't tell them. But I still want you to go to the Group sessions."

"Okay! Do you want me to go in my Corvette or my Benz?" I ask him sarcastically.

He laughs, even though what I said wasn't funny. "I'll drive you there and back. It's on the same day as my Help For Unstable Teenagers Program," he scoffs at the words 'Help For Unstable Teenagers' and puts them in finger quotes. It's strange that he's still in group therapy for something that happened a year ago.

I smile, "Thanks, that's really kind of you," I say lamely.

"Liberty, can I ak you something?" he asks.

"Well, you already know the secret I had been guarding with my life, so I guess another question couldn't hurt. Go ahead," I say.

"How come it was so easy for me to get you to go to therapy? Like, did you know you have a problem?"

"I know I need help. I don't like being anorexic, but it's like I can't stop it anymore. It controls me. I just didn't think I could tell anyone about it," I tell him.

"You could have told me," he offers.

"Pfft!" words aren't needed to express how stupid that sounded.

He grins, like the fact that we have no relationship is funny, but I grin too. "Yeah, that was a stupid thing for me to say."

"No, it was nice, but we never talk anymore, before this. It just wouldn't make sense for me to tell you," I explain.

"Yeah, well, I have to go. I told Mia I'd meet her at the Dot," he doesn't seem happy to leave, but maybe that's me being dillusional.

"Yeah, I'll check with Emma when the group therapy is," I tell him, "And thanks, you pretty much saved me from killing myself." I give him a friendly hug, which in no way reflects on my intentions.

"No problem, driving you to the community center is a small price to pay for keeping you out of the hospital," he says, we're still hugging each other. Sensing that this "friendly" hug was getting a bit more than friendly, J.T. pulls away and heads over to the Dot. I'm actually glad I'm going to start getting help. I go downstairs to get something to eat, I haven't since yesterday.

I eat a whole slice of pecan pie in less than five minutes, feeling so satisfied. But I know this feeling won't last longer than a few minutes. When the satisfaction wears away and I feel sick, guilty, and fat...as always, I run upstairs to the bathroom. I feel like an idiot with a toothbrush down my throat, at mercy of the toilet. But I ray that this all stops when I start group therapy.

**Done. I hope you didn't expect me to have J.T. talk to Liberty and she all of a sudden becomes un-anorexic like what happened with Emma on Degrassi. It takes a long time to heal from it. Hope you like it, review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry about taking so long, but I wasn't "feeling it". So now I'm feeling it, so I can write. Do you know how much I hate bad fashion sense? It just makes me so angry when I see girls in my school wearing these flowy, babydoll tops with PLAID pj pants and UGGS! Eww, I try not to be shallow, but seriously, this is just crossing the line. And their justification is that it's Abercrombie, or some other expensive brand. That does not justify your hideous ensemble! On with the story, kitties! Some Jiberty action goin' on in this chapter.**

**But first...a disclaimer stating my limited ownership over this story: I do not own Degrassi or it's characters, but I do own their situations, and you can't have them cause they're so much better than whatever's going on in the show. So you can suck on that Epitome Pictures Inc.!**

As can be expected, the car ride to the community center was almost completely silent. The friendliness and caring attitude between J.T. and Liberty had been replaced with awkwardness. J.T. focused his complete attention onto the road, sneaking glances at Liberty from time to time. Liberty eyes were fixated on the scenery that they were passing by as if she had never seen it before. Liberty had been thinking about whether or not the group therapy was a good idea since the moment she agreed to letting J.T. take her. Being in group therapy for her eating disorder meant being vulnerable, which was not something Liberty wanted to be.

After Liberty had told Emma about her issue, they had become a lot closer. Liberty learned that Emma still had body image problems, but the group sessions were helping her through it. Having a friend to talk to her problem about, in Liberty's opinion, was definitely helping her. The purging, which hadn't completely subsided, had become less frequent. The time periods of starvation had gotten shorter. She no longer felt afraid of her own body.

**J.T. POV**

_"Just say something, anything!"_ I think to myself. But what can I say? After she readily agreed with me to go to the sessions, I didn't think there would be so much awkwardness between us. I feel so stupid for not noticing that she hadn't been eating before. She's barely ever at lunch. And if she is, she doesn't eat. And under the rare circumstance that she does eat, I'm pretty sure I know where that food is going to end up. Her clothes are huge, I think she's wearing her pregnancy clothes. And she's so thin, thinner than Emma. Liberty was never fat, but she was never thin. She had curves, which is another thing I love about her.

_"Stop thinking that, you do not love her," _I keep trying convincing myself, but to no avail. Despite the fact that we broke up months ago, and I have a girlfriend, I still love her as much as I did when we were sophmores. Toby knows, and he keeps asking me why I'm with with Mia if I like Liberty. He doesn't get it. I need to have a girlfriend. Mia is the only thing that keeps me from being completely obsessed with a girl who doesn't like me to the point of insanity. And I'm too much of a coward to ask out Liberty because I'm too afraid of what she'll say.

"So, have you been eating?" I blurt out of no where.

"More than I usually do. Thanks to Emma," Liberty replies. Even if she's anorexic, she's still beautiful, she always will be.

"She's been helping you?"

"i guess you could say that, it's really nice to have someone who knows about exactly what you're going through," she explains.

"That's great. The group sessions are all about that, support. It really helps," I tell her. We're quiet for a moment, waiting for the other to say something.

"J.T.?" She asks, I love the way she says my name, like she needs me to be with her.

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you do that last year? Overdose on the oxycodone, I mean?" The questions catches me off guard.

"I really don't get why I did something so stupid. I guess I felt like I had nothing left, like I lost everything. And I was going to jail," I pull up to a parking space in the lot at the Community center.

"So, it wasn't because of me or the baby being such a burden on you?" She asks, almost pleading.

**Liberty POV:**

He looks into my eyes, and for a second I can't breath. He touches my hand and begins to speak.

'Libby, don't you ever think that," he says, his voice getting deeper, more serious, "my stupid mistakes aren't your fault. It was my responsibility to make sure you and the baby were okay, I failed to to do that," he says. The J.T. I knew back in sophmore year was dead, this was a more mature, responsible J.T.. And I loved him just as much. It takes me a second to notice that our faces were only inches apart. And I know I shouldn't kiss him because it will totally screw up everything between us, but I can't bear to look away from him.

**J.T. POV**

We're sitting in the parking lot, just staring at each other. I listen to the steady sound of her breathing. Some invisible force pushed our faces even closer; I notice myself staring wistfully at her mouth. I can feel her breath against my face, it smells like Altoids. And I'm suddenly thankful for the minty gum I had been chewing...

She kisses me. It's a short kiss. No tongue involved. She pulls away, but I want so much more. A smile creeps up on her face. But it's not a smile that tells me she likes me, or that she wants more too. Just a small, normal smile.

"Thanks, for the ride, I really appreciate everything you're doing," she tells me. Thanks for the ride? That kiss that I had been wanting for months was just a God damn thank-you?

'Your welcome," I mumble in the most friendly tone I could muster. She gets out of the car and walks quickly into the building. I give my head a good bang on the steering wheel before heading out myself.

**Liberty POV**

J.T.'s mad at me. I can tell. I can always tell.

He's mad at me for treating that kiss as if it were nothing. It was everything, the only thing I had been dreaming of since we broke up. And it makes me so happy to know that he feels the same way. I know what I did was mean, and that I kind of lead J.T. on; if even for a minute. But I can't start a relationship with him; I can't hurt Mia or myself like that.

I follow the directions that Emma gave me a few days ago and head for the room where the group sessions were taking place. I open the door prudently, as if a hungry behemoth was on the other side.

There was no hungry behemoth on the other side of the door, just a lot of girls. Some of them are really thin and gorgeous. But surprisingly, there were some fat girls too. Is that what I looked like to those perfect looking girls? They all seemed to range from age, the youngest one looking to be about thirteen, the oldest, maybe nineteen. The room looked a lot like an empty classroom, with a closet and beanbags put into a circle being the only furniture put atop the thin white green carpet.

I spot Emma, she smiles and I take a seat next to her. "Leslie, isn't here yet. She's usually late," she explains. Leslie arrives minutes later with a smile. not one of those fake smiles you see in magazine ads, but a real, sincere one that expressed that she wanted to be here to help these girls.

Her first to words upon her arrival, "Hello girls," were met with a couple scattered "hi's" and "hey Leslie's". Leslie seemed to be pretty young, twenty-five at the most. She was a pretty red head, with layers in her hair that seemed to frame her heart-shaped face and bright hazel eyes on either side of her small, freckled nose. She was wearing a tee shirt and jeans, which I wasn't expecting. I thought she'd be wearing something more sophisticated, as to amplify her status as some sort of expert in this particular issue.

"I think you guys all realized already, that we have a new addition to our little family. Girls, this is Liberty," again, this statement is met with a few greetings, this time addressed to me. I do a pathetic little wave.

Leslie gives me a journal, which I have to write about anything I'm feeling in. I don't have to share it, but a lot of girls seem to be reading there's.

"Liberty, who got you to come here? I know it's not easy to take such a big step," Leslie asks me.

"My ex-boyfriend found my food diary and told me to," I explain to her. Some of the girls raise their eyebrows, so I expand on it, "He drives me to and from all of the sessions."

"Wait, your _ex_-boyfriend, you said?" on of the perfect girls asks me. I nod. "I can't imagine a guy who would do that for his ex."

"Well, J.T.'s really sweet, he probably felt obligated to help," Emma says.

"Do your parents know?" one of the younger girls asks. I reply with a "no".

"You know, telling your parents is unavoidable, you'll have to do it some day," Leslie says.

"I will, when I'm ready, maybe. Right now..." I begin.

"...you just want to get out of the mess you're in." the perfect girl finishes.

"Yeah, exactly." I say with a smile.

"Well, today, we're going to be looking through these magazines," Leslie says pointing to a stack beside her, "and I want you guys to tell me something about the models. Which one of them you like, if you want to be like them, anything."

I reach for a _Seventeen_ magazine and find a thin, pretty blonde girl in a pink bikini, with a guy's arms around her waist, her face so familiar.

"Marcy, let's see your model," Leslie says to a fat girl. Marcy holds up a picture of a twig with breasts bigger than her head.

"I don't like her because she makes me feel ugly. In our society fat is ugly. It's because of photoshopped girls like her," she explains. It's true, my first impression of Marcy was that she was ugly, but she wasn't, she was very pretty with captivating green eyes. We go about like this until Leslie calls on me.

"I picked this girl because she seems perfect. I want to be her, I used to have a picture of her in my dresser, like she was my motivation to become thinner," i explain to this group of strangers, who I felt so close to.

"It's because of the guy. You think that, like, being that thin will make guys like him like you," the perfect girl, who I now knew was named Carly says.

"Right, by using a guy in the picture, it makes the girl want to be just like that girl, use the same product she's using [which in this case was a perfume and look like her, too," Leslie says. Group ends and I come back to reality. I see J.T. waiting in the parking lot. He looked so sad. I feel guilty for forgetting about him during group.

I can't face him, I think. "Emma, can i ride with you?" I ask her.

"That kiss with J.T. was a mistake, huh?" she assumes.

"You saw?" I ask.

"Yeah, wasn't surprised, though," I smile. Emma can never be surprised. I roll my eyes and excuse myself to tell J.T..

"Hey!" I say enthusiastically, hoping to seem innocent.

"Yeah, ready to go?" he mumbles. God, I feel so bad.

"Actually, I'm gonna go with Emma. I just wanted to talk to her about...stuff,"

"Oh, okay, see you at school," he seems dissappointed, for some strange reason.

"Thanks for the ride, again," I decide against hugging him.

"Your welcome,"

**J.T. POV**

I watch her get into the car with Emma. She doesn't even know what she did. Do I even mean anything to her? If that's how she feels, than she is not welcome in my car anymore.

But I know she is, I can't say no to her. I love her.

**Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, sorry for the delay, computer issues. Please try to review, even if you hate it. And if you do hate it, tell why, because I'd love to improve. If you like it, give me some suggestions and tell me why you do. Thanks everyone, for reviewing! By the way, Mia fans, accept my apology for making her slightly obnoxious in this chapter; I don't really like her character.**

**Do not own Degrassi or the characters. Nor do I own 27 Dresses, Halo 3, or Xbox 360. And seriously, if I owned "Hey Joe" or "Purple Haze" by Jimi Hedrix(R.I.P.), don't you think I would've ODed on a drug coctail back in the 60's? **

"So did you buy anything the mall with Emma?" Liberty's mom questioned.

It took her a moment to realize that this was the excuse that she had used to cover up the support group session. "No, everything is at full price this time of year," she lied.

"Right."

"We had a big lunch at the food court, can I be excused?" Liberty asked, eyeing the baked ziti with a slightly disgusted look. Despite, the fact she had just gone to group therapy, she was having trouble eating.

Her mother was suspicious, had been for a while. She couldn't imagine her daughter being anorexic, but she was definitely a little insecure about her body after the baby. "Liberty, you're not fat. You know that right? I'd say you were chubbier before the baby than you are now, actually," Her mothered attempted at reassurance.

"Um, okay...but I never said I was fat," Liberty said.

"Okay then I'll say it for you, tubby!" Danny teased. His tone was a jovial one, and he wasn't expecting the reaction that he got.

"Shut up! I know I am, but at least when I have a problem I do something about it, unlike you!" Liberty shouted, prior to bursting into tears and going into her room.

"Do you always have to make a joke at her expense every chance you get Daniel? She's a little bit insecure after the baby and you're not helping at all!" Mr. Van Zandt scolded. Mrs. Van Zandt stayed silent, she wasn't as angry at Daniel as she was concerned about Liberty. When was the last time she had seen that girl eat? If she hadn't been so wrapped up in Danny's failing grades and her own life...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Liberty!" her mother called outside of the locked bedroom door, "Can you open the door?"

Liberty quickly hid the big bag of Doritos she had been munching on in her nightstand drawer, and opened the door, "What is it?"

"Liberty tell me honestly, did you have a big lunch at the mall?" her mother asked.

"Yes, why would I lie about that?" she asked as if her mother was insane for asking such a question.

"Liberty, I'm worried, I don't think you've been eating. If you're concerned about your weight, we can--" Mrs. Van Zandt got cut off.

"I'm not concerned, okay?"

"Then what was that outburst you just had at the dinner table?" her mother cornered her.

"This is why I can't ever tell you anything, you make a big scene out of the tiniest things. I'm just on a diet, mother. Almost every single human being on this earth has been on one. Can you please relax?" Liberty lied.

"Liberty, I can't remember the last time I saw you eat! Starving yourself is no way to become thinner; it's not a diet, it's called anorexia." her mother exclaimed.

"I know what anorexia is, and I know I don't have it," Liberty had, her voice had taken on a calmer tone. Mrs. Van Zandt still looked unconvinced.

"Liberty, if you have any problems...we can get you help," her mother said in a sympathetic voice.

"I don't need your damn help! Stop treating me like I'm your patient because nothing's wrong!" Liberty yelled.

"Liberty Van Zandt, I will not be spoken to like that. If you don't want me to think that nothing's wrong with you, prove it. End this diet of yours because you look fine," her mother stated.

"I will."

"Come downstairs and eat." her mother challenged. Liberty went downstairs and obeyed her mother, she took out a good-sized portion of ziti and ate reluctantly.

"Are you happy now?" she asked.

"I will be if you eat like that everyday," her mother replied; her daughter cringed, but agreed. She got up from her spot at the table and excused herself to do some homework.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**From the diary given to Liberty by Leslie...**

_I threw up today. It's not something to be proud of, I know. It's actually kind of pathetic how weak I am. But I had no choice, my mom forced me to eat a whole plate of pasta...and I was really hungry. So I ate it all like I always do, and felt sick, and threw up. I feel like that's my only option when I eat. I either eat nothing, or I eat everything and throw it all up. I hate being controlled like this, I need a way out. My mother thinks I'm anorexic. Great job Mom, your daughter has gone from a size eight to a two in two months, and you've just begun to catch on! Great to know I mean more to you than my straight A's._

_J.T., my ex-boyfriend, is great. He drove me to group today, and promised to drive me there and back until I need him too. He still cares about me, I can tell, but he has a girlfriend. We kissed today, in his car, in the parking lot of the community center. It wasn't a huge make-out session, just a small short kiss. The one I've wanted for months. But I can't do this while he has a girlfriend and get into some messy love triangle. So I just thank him for the ride I get out of the car and pretend that the kiss didn't mean anything. He seemed so let down. The wistful look on his face after I kissed him is forever burned into my memory. I feel so bad._

_I don't know why he's dating Mia, though. Doesn't he realize he's hurting the both of them with this staged relationship? It doesn't matter, that's none of my business anyways. I wonder what I'm going to say to him tomorrow, if anything._

_-Liberty Van Zandt_

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Purple Haze all in my brain,  
lately things don't seem the same,  
actin' funny but I don't know why  
'scuse me while I kiss the sky._

Hendrix played on the computer in J.T. room as he lay in bed trying to wrap his head around what was going on in his life. Somehow the 60's rockstar's intoxicated guitar riffs helped calm him down. (a/n: J.T. always struck as the type of guy who either liked classic rock) "_So your ex-girlfriend, who you still like has an ED. You drive her to group therapy and she kissed you today. Except it turns out she only kissed you to express her gratitude. Now you're pissed at her for leading you on for about five seconds. On the other hand you have a girlfriend. She's great, pretty, on the spirit squad, and has a daughter. And she isn't as controlling as Liberty, and she's kind of stupid...so you never feel dumb when you talk to her. But still--"_ J.T.'s self-therapy had been cut short by the sound of his cell phone.

"Hello?" J.T. answered his phone.

"Hai-ay," Mia stretched out the word into two equally obnoxious syllables.

"Uhh...hi Mia, what's up?"

"Nothing, I just called to ask if you, like, wanted to hang out tonight. We could, like, watch 27 Dresses, I hear it's good," she offered.

_There is no way I'm paying for two tickets plus the price of snacks to see some boring chick flick. _"Sounds like fun...but Toby just got Halo 3 on Xbox 360, he's been waiting for it for months. He'd probably burn me at the stake if I didn't go," J.T. half-lied-- he was in a Halo mood, after all.

Instead of laughing, Mia replied by saying, "Lol! Okay you're excused...this time. By the way, what's that music in the background?" she referred to the song that was playing on the other line.

J.T. was a little surprised she didn't know one of the most famous rock songs in history, "Uh "Purple Haze"...you know, Hendrix?"

"Hendrix...I've never heard of that band," she replied.

"Actually it's one person, named Jimi Hendrix. He's amazing, I'll give you one of my CD's to borrow," "_Liberty knew who Hendrix was," _J.T. couldn't help but think.

"I will. TTYL, bye."

"Bye." J.T. hung up the phone and rolled his eyes at his girlfriend. As soon as he hung up the phone, it rang again. A mini-debate played in J.T.'s mind before answering the phone, he ruled in favor of answering it.

"Liberty?"

"Hi, J.T., I wanted to talk to you about today..." she started.

"Okay, talk away...hey is that Hendrix in the background?" J.T. smiled upon hearing the familiar lyrics.

"Yeah, 'Hey Joe', I had an argument with my mom, Hendrix calms me down," she explained. J.T. grinned.

"Same with me. What did you want to talk about?"

"You know how we kissed earlier today? And I kind of disregarded it?" she began.

"Yeah..."

"I didn't mean for it to seem like it didn't mean anything to me, it did. It's just that you have a girlfriend right now. And I don't know if I should be getting involved with anyone right now. So I just think that us being anything more than friends right now wouldn't be a good idea." she explained. J.T. was ecstatic to hear the feeling between him and Liberty were mutual.

"Well, that's good to hear. I guess I see where you're coming from," he said, "I, for one, don't want to relive the Craig/Manny/Ashley love triangle back in grade 9 nine," he said, making light of the situation.

Instead of using internet shorthand in a normal coversation, Liberty laughed, "Yeah, I'm not sure I'd be to good at playing the role of 'the other woman'" J.T. laughed at the thought of it.

"Well, okay then, _friend, _Danny just got Halo 3; he's out with his friends. Don't tell anyone, but I've been waiting six months for it to come out. If you get here in ten minutes we could probably play for a good hour without him catching us and exposing my secret videogame obsession to the world," Liberty offered.

"Ten minutes? I'll be there in five!" J.T. was halfway out the door.

**Finished...with the chapter! Like I said, sorry about the delay, I was having issues with the computer. I want to use either "Crash into Me" by Dave Matthews Band or "Save Me" by Josh Verdes in the next chapter. Any prefrences? Again, I apologize for making Mia such an airhead, but I don't like her.**

**Review, review, review!**

**Mina**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, everyone, I changed my username, just so you know. So don't be alarmed, my account wasn't hacked or anything. Sorry for the delay, our nanny left so I've had to do a lot more chores lately, so there wasn't a lot of time. And I kind of got lazy. But on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the storyline, characters belong to Epitome Productions or whatever.**

J.T. was surprised that Liberty had beat him three times in a row at Halo. It was getting kind of embarassing actually.

"This is getting kind of boring, wanna play something else?" he suggested.

Liberty saw through his request, but decided not to say anything. "Not a good idea, Danny's gonna be home in about five minutes."

"Oh, okay then...I guess I should go, right?"

"Do you want to?"

He looked at her for a moment, then smiled, "Yeah, but you're coming with me."

"Excuse me? Do I get a say in this?" she asked with indignance.

"No." He said, he began walking out of Danny's room. Liberty followed him into the car, it wasn't until he had started driving that she realized she did know where they were headed.

"Where exactly are we going?" she asked.

"You'll find out soon enough..." J.T. replied.

"You know I hate surprises."

"I know." Liberty didn't reply for a long time."Just tell me where we're going!" she half-shouted in a jovial tone, grabbing his arm, which she let go of as soon as she realized she was. He shook his head.

They finally reached J.T.'s surprise destination. "We're here!" he called out even though Liberty was right next to him.

"The boardwalk? J.T.! That is the most..." she began to scold him, '...this may actually be fun..."

"Which is exactly what you need right now. Get away from everything. Just you, me, and a walk made of boards." J.T. added some of his typical humor to lighten the mood.

"Thanks" She said and smiled sincerely, for the first time in a while. They both got out of the car and walked over to the "walk made of boards". It was a little past sundown, the darkening sky was illuminated by the flashing lights coming from the rides, neon signs, among other things. There was the familiar scent of artery-clogging food, and the sound street performers playing beat-up instruments for spare change brought back memories to both J.T. and Liberty of more innocent times.

"So what should we do first...play a cheap game, go on a roller coaster, eat deep fried oreos..." He began.

"Roller coaster, definitely." she replied.

"How about the BoneCrusher?" J.T. suggested. He was speaking of a roller coaster that had more twists and turns than a pretzel, and its screaming passengers could be heard miles away.

"I've been waiting to go on that forever!" she said with a smile. She shivered a little bit, J.T. noticed she was only wearing a tank top and there were goosebumps all over her arms.

"Are you cold?"

"Little bit" J.T. removed the warm hoodie from his body and handed it to her.

"If I take it, then you'll freeze." she said giving it back.

"Don't worry about me, let's get on the BoneCrusher." Liberty put on his sweatshirt, it smelled like his cologne. She hoped he would forget she had it on and let her keep it. But of course, all thoughts like these had to be pushed out of her mind, and Liberty had to keep reminding herself that J.T. was only a friend

_Mia never would have gone on the BoneCrusher with me. Or be caught dead wearing guys clothes, she'd rather freeze to death. But Liberty...is ONLY A FRIEND_. I remind myself for the millionth time today. _She does look really hot in my clothes, though...SHUT UP!_

It's finally our turn to get on the ride, and I'm a little scared. But I'm not admitting that to anyone. Liberty looks a little scared. I remember the last time we went on a roller coaster at a carnival she screamed so loudly, she couldn't talk for the next three days. It was awesome.

"Ready?" I ask.

"Sort of..." The ride starts suddenly, my stomach feels like someone punched me really hard. We're going up the ramp, backwards, we're about a hundred feet up in the air, and this isn't even't the highest point. It just stops once we reach the top of the curve, and if this is like any other roller coaster, I know exactly what is to happen. _Bam! _Another blow to the stomach, we're racing full speed ahead. All of the twists and turns are completely unexpected. Liberty is screaming at the top of her lungs,

"J.T.! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA DIE...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she grabs my arm, tightly. I start screaming, too (not in that high-pitched way like Liberty), just for the hell of it. It kind of makes the whole experience ten times more fun.

"J.T. WE'RE GONNA DIE, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Shut up, moron!" some fat guy yells. We start laughing uncontrollably.The ride ends, but we're still laughing. We finally stop, but then the same fat guy flips us off, and we're at it again.

"That was awesome!" I exclaim.

"Yeah it was! Let's go again!" she suggests.

"And ruin another middle-aged fat guy's night? Talk about heartless! Besides I'm hungry."

"Me too." That's obvious. But is she she going to eat and just make an excuse to use the bathroom afterwards?

J.T. is the most amazing person I've ever met. And tonight I'm having the most fun I've ever had. The only thing that could make it better is..._making out with J.T. until I forget my own name?_ Well, besides that, is probably something to eat, since technically, I haven't done so in weeks. And what's one meal going to do? I don't even have to finish it.

"How a funnel cake, cotton candy, fried oreos, and some fries?" I almost forgot about J.T.'s bottomless stomach. "What? I haven't eaten since morning."

"I never said anything! I'll get the fries and cotton candy, you get the funnel cake and oreos." We both get our assigned foods and meet back at a picnic table next to the funnel cake place. J.t. digs right in, not surpisingly. I'm trying to think of a way to plan this out. If I take only the cotton candy and maybe a few fries, it wouldn't be so bad, would it? Oh, forget it. I begin to attack the funnel cake ravenously.

"Did you have an Oreo?" J.T. asks.

"No"

"Well, you haven't lived until you try one!" I take a bite out of one.

"These are actually good...in an artery clogging-way." I suddenly realize that there's no more food left, and J.T.'s not the only person who can be blamed for that. A familiar feeling forms in my stomach, the "you-ate-too-much-and-if-don't-fix-it-it's-going-straight-to-your-thighs" feeling. There's not much I can do, J.T. will definitely not fall for the bathroom excuse like my parents. And it'll be too late by the time I get home. What was that thing I read before? Your body stores food as fat if you eat after a long period of starvation, since it thinks it's going to go through another period of starvation?

Liberty looks like she's freaking out on the inside. I can imagine, it's not like I'm going to let her "use the bathroom", so she has no choice but to digest everything she just ate--and she ate a lot.

"Are you okay?' I ask her.

"Fine."

"You're not planning on" I pretend to stick two fingers down my throat, "are you?" She shakes her head, no.

I smile, "You'll be fine." She nods with an uneasy expression on her face.

"Liberty relax, you aren't going to turn into that grumpy fat guy after eating on meal." I reassure her.

"Yeah, but, if you eat after long periods of starvation your body stores anything you eat as fat."

"What's wrong with being fat?"

"Being fat means you're ugly." She was quick to answer that.

"Well, I don't know about any of that scientific stuff, but I do know that there is no way on Earth that Liberty Van Zandt can ever be ugly. Not when she was nine months pregnant, not when she's thinner than Paris Hilton, and I bet if she were to s magically gain three hundred pounds tonight, she'd still be the most beautiful girl on the planet." Yeah...real platonic...why did I say that? This completely screws up everything. But her reaction is completely worth me exposing myself like that. She has this huge smile on her face, like she's just one the lottery."

"Do you honestly mean that?"

"Absolutely." She's quiet for a long time.

"You know, I don't think years of group therapy or my mother forcing billions of calories down my throat could do what you did."

"Does that mean you'll stop?"

"It means I'm going to try a hell of a lot harder than I ever did. Thanks for making me feel...beautiful or whatever." It just occurs to me that we're holding hands, but I don't let go, beacause there's no point in pretending things between us are only platonic.

"So much for being just friends, huh?" she says, gets up to throw out the empty plates and other garbage. I get up and meet her there.

"Yeah, well, I, for one don't plan on being with Mia much longer."

"J.T., that's not what I meant, I don't want you to break up with Mia...okay I'll admit, maybe I think she's a total airhead and suspect that you may be brain dead for dating her, but that shouldn't stop you from being with her."

"Well, if I completely agree with you, that's a good enough reason to break up with her. She talks like she's a walking text message. She doesn't even know Jimi Hendrox!"

"Does she live under a rock?"

"Apparently."

"So, what now?"

"It's only eight-thirty. We can still play some rigged games, and just chill."

"Sounds good."

J.T. and Liberty spent the rest of the night playing rigged games, Liberty even won a giant stuffed monkey, and walking around the boardwalk. The both of them were having so much fun, they completely lost track of time.

"J.T., what time is it?"

"Uh," he checked his watch, "It's almost midnight. The boardwalk is about to close."

"Oh my God, we completely lost track of time." she laughed, instead of freaking out.

"Well, there's one thing left to do." J.T. said. He took her hand and guided her towards the beach.

"And what would that be?"

"See the sunrise at the beach."

"J.T., the sun doesn't rise for a few hours," Liberty said as if it wasn't obvious..

"Then we'll just have to wait.C'mon," He jumped over the short fence that separated the boardwalk from the beach.

"Are you insane? If we get caught, we're as good as dead!" Liberty tried to be rational.

"Then we won't get caught, c'mon Lib, do something spontaneous, for once!"

"Fine!" Liberty jumped the fence. J.T. patted a spot for her to sit next to him on the beach, she obeyed

"So you really think I'm...boring?" Liberty asked him. He looked at her as if the answer was obvious. She shoved him playfully.

"What? It's called honesty. You're not boring, you're just too rational. Sometimes you need to just be spontaneous and do--"

J.T.'s sentence was cut off by Liberty, who kissed him so hard, he fell onto the sand. They stayed like that for a while, until Liberty pulled away.

"Spontaneous enough?" she asked him.

"Too early to tell, keep going," J.T. said with a wicked grin, and began to kiss her again.

It's hard to say who fell asleep first, but it was J.T. who woke up first. His arms were wrapped around Liberty, who had one arm around his waist, the other hand rested gently on his chest.

"Hey, Lib, wake up, the sun's rising!" he said.

"Huh?" she woke up to be greeted by the warm feeling from J.T.'s body and the pink light emitting from the sun that was awakening alongside her.

"Isn't it amazing?" J.T. said, referring to the dazzling skies, in shades of pink, purple, and yellow that mingled with the ocean's water which was striving to touch land.

"It's beautiful." Liberty said, mesmerized.

"Not nearly as beautiful as you," J.t. said, kissing her.

"And you call me predictable?" she asked jokingly.

"Well, the whole moment called for some corny line from a crappy movie. And you gave me a huge oppertunity," J.T. said in his defense. They were silent after that. The symphony that consisted of the steady sound of crashing waves, the wind, and the squawking seagulls was the only thing that could be heard.

"I love you, Liberty," J.T. said all of a sudden.

"I love you, too," Liberty replied. They kissed again. Liberty pulled away. It was finally time to come back to the world of reality.

"Dammit, J.T., my parents! They're probably freaking out right now. I didn't leave a note or call or anything! I'm so dead when I get home," Liberty said frantically.

"Shit! My grandma probably called the cops by now." The two of them ran quickly to the car, thinking of what they were going to say to their guardians.

**Oh! Cliffhanger, not really. Hope you like it, please review!!**


End file.
